They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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