Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
is it fun? or sober?
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
