Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
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