Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
so much tequila, so little girl.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
