i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
