Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
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