i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Randomize
