I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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