Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
