The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Randomize
