God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
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