So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
