the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
This is my gift to your gina
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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