Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Randomize
