It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
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