ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Randomize
