Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
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