i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
