i will never coherently bang her
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Randomize
