You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Randomize
