Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
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