is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Randomize
