Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Randomize
