no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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