He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
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