how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I looked at my own cervix.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Randomize
