ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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