I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
