I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
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