Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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