butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Randomize
