it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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