I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
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