if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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