So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
