Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
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