i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
The Olympian is in my bed
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
