Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Randomize
