god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Come share oat with me in your robe
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
