Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize