did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
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