i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
You can't just leave with hair like that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
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