and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
I have surprise drugs for everyone
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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