i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
