your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
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