I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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