First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
