I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
