so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
