He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Randomize
