She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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