addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
It was confusing and full of hummus
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
