I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
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