last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
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