White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
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