I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize
