i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Randomize
