Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
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