I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Randomize
