Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize