what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
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