They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
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