he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
