Midget sex pt 2 tonight
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Randomize
