Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
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Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
We need a shit load of segways right now
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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